Well, we did it. We reached the end of another New York Fashion Week. Congratulations to us. It's really commendable that we've managed to pull of Fashion Week and all its attendant events at the same time as we've both competed in and adjudicated the Winter Olympics. It's been a busy month for us. We deserve a nap and a pint of Jeni's ice cream.
Back in the day, I didn't think of myself as part of New York Fashion Week, but then I memorized the cerulean speech in The Devil Wears Prada and everything changed for me. I am Fashion Week now. Even though I haven't left my house and I'm in sweats for the foreseeable future. That was the whole point of the cerulean speech, right?
One year, while writing for ELLE.com, I was sent to a few Fashion Week runway shows (surprisingly not as a joke!) and I discovered that, while the runways are chockablock with high key lewks, innovative design, and the world's greatest walkers, the real show is sometimes on the sidelines. Most runway show attendees are fashionistas, New York elite, and industry people, but the front row has come to be comprised of random assortments of bold faced names. For instance, at the Christian Siriano show I attended in 2018, Vanessa Williams, Patricia Clarkson, Danielle Brooks, Gina Gershon, Lizzo, and Leslie Jones were seated all together whilst Leslie Jones gave the kind of full-throated commentary she now devotes to the Olympics on her Twitter. It was mind-blowing for many reasons, not the least of which being that I am sure those six women had never been in the same place at the same time before and yet I couldn't imagine ever wanting to be anywhere else but in their presences.
I mean come on!
Fashion Week front rows are about seeing and being seen, but they're also about fan-casting future Ocean's Eleven movies. You cannot tell me you don't want to see Patricia Clarkson and Leslie Jones try to rob a casino. It cannot be said!
Though this year's New York Fashion Week didn't give us anything as iconic as the Siriano SS18 show, we have some very fine contenders for the next Ocean's movie, buddy comedy, or This Is Us-style ensemble.
I think the thing that really makes this is the presence of Real Housewife Dorinda Medley who is certainly not out of place here but not exactly who I'd expect to find on a very drag queen-heavy list for a late night fashion show. I feel like I want this photo to be a remake of Death Becomes Her with Aquaria and CT Hedden in the Goldie and Meryl parts and Dorinda in the Isabella Rossellini role. The lighting and the styling is giving vampire family at a school play, but I sense a screwball comedy underneath.
Adam Lambert was also at The Blonds show. Here he is with Oliver Gliese. It's giving me "The cast of Wicked hangs out with the cast of What We Do In Shadows." Would watch.
This is neither here nor there, but one of my favorite things about Fashion Week is how the people on the front row often impassively film the show with their phones. Taken out of context it looks like everyone is filming a fight in the parking lot of Waffle House, hoping the video is good enough to get on WorldStar HipHop.
If it hadn't been for the caption, I don't think I would have been able to guess who anyone but Wintour was under their masks. It makes sense that Uma and Katie are both at the Tory Burch show but, thinking back on their wildly different film careers, again I can't imagine these two people existing in the same universe. But then I remember that they've both been in Batman movies--Holmes in Batman Begins and Thurman in Batman and Robin. It's an easy leap to cast Anna Wintour as a brilliant and eccentric Batman villain, too. The glasses are giving me Riddler. Let's roll cameras, put Uma back into the Poison Ivy ensemble and fit Katie for the Batsuit.
Here's Wintour at the Prabal Gurung show in an image that's just begging to be made into a meme. This is literally me at every party claiming that I'm socializing and approachable.
Okay, now we're getting somewhere with the random assortment of celebrities! Breakout And Just Like That star Sarita Choudhury next to former Hillary Clinton advisor Huma Abedin next to Katie Holmes! I do not understand this assemblage and therefore I have decided that it is the most powerful so far. This isn't even an Ocean's Eleven movie. This is picture that is above my pay grade. Is that what an NFT is? I'd buy that.
Perfection. No notes. This is a class picture from Euphoria High.
Sex and the City writer Candace Bushnell, the original Carrie Bradshaw, was all over town during Fashion Week. Here she is at Markarian with Nicky Hilton Rothschild.
The concept here is "You know the show Sabrina the Teenage Witch? No, the 90s version. You know how she had two aunts and they were fun and wacky? Okay but what if we did that with Glinda as a teenager?"
And here she is with Patricia Field at The Blonds.
The concept here is "You know all those British show about two detectives to investigate grisly crimes in seaside towns with high cliffs? Well, what if those detectives were dressed to the nines and constantly quipping?"
Once again I must ask where you got this picture of me at every party.
Larry was seated next to Jared Leto at the Staud show so this expression tracks.
WHY MUST JARED LETO ALWAYS STARE INTO MY SOUL? Go back to haunting Euphoria High, please!
And finally, once again Christian Siriano has given us we all need and want and demanded and wrote to our senators about: an Ocean's Eleven cast that will take your breath away.
I am 1,000 per cent serious when I tell you that I need this to be an actual Ocean's film immediately if not sooner. You don't even need a script, just tell MJ Rodriguez that she needs to figure out how to get $100 million from Vegas by next week and hand Hannah Waddingham a map and you'll have the highest grossing film of all time on your hands. Avatar who? Did Avatar have Danielle Brooks and Susan Sarandon trying to crack a safe while Drew Barrymore does a bunch of weird characters to distract the security guards? No! It does not! And that's what wrong with the world today. Thank goodness for Fashion Week!
Cover image: Getty
Editorial assistant: Sean Simon